Why Nirvana Sucks

I could not help myself after being bombarded by vh1 countdowns putting Nirvana's now legendary 1991 album "Nevermind" ahead of Beatles records and Kurt Cobain reaching #12 on Rolling Stone's Top 100 Guitarists list. I understand that today's generation for the most part listens to garbage but come on really? These are the guys who are supposed to know better who are putting a semi talented grunge band on the highest of rock pedestals, not brainless Lil Wayne devotees (though some will cross over). It sickens me, mostly because none of the arguments they use to justify this overhyping really make any sense. Allow me to explain in a five step argument I call why Nirvana Sucks

1. The album was "groundbreaking". How so? It had the usual shiny AOR production of a junky early 90s album not unlike a horrible Ozzy Osbourne power ballad collection or a tragically polished Replacements record. The sound may have been different than what was normally on the radio at the time, but it wasn't new. Didn't Neil Young distort his guitars a lot like two decades earlier on Live Rust, etc.? Isn't Nirvana at their heart pretty much a punk band that sold out for the mainstream audience they got? Nothing really new or groundbreaking about that.

2. Kurt Cobain was a "talented writer". Yes it's true his blinding genius opened new doors with such revelations as "Rape Me" and "Territorial Pissings". His lyrics are twisted and occasionally clever but they aren't Bob Dylan by any stretch. The repetitiveness of his masterpiece "Smells Like Teen Spirit" says all you need to know about his songwriting abilities. Special thanks to Weird Al Yankovich for ripping that overrated overplayed song a new one.

3. Nirvana "broke down the doors for alternative rock in the mainstream". Oh they did? Well we will just forget about all those new wave artists of the early 80s, u2, joy division, the cure, the replacements, etc. Let's just forget everyone before them that was alternative and made it possible for them to actually succeed with less talent than their forebearers. Even if we do that their peers of the time-Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, the pre Pearl Jam bands Mother Love Bone and Temple of the Dog, even the Red Hot Chili Peppers that SAME YEAR put out albums that were every bit as alternative and in the case of RHCP and Pearl Jam every bit as successful. It would've happened with or without Nirvana.

4. Nirvana is "highly influential". Ok on who exactly? Other bands who suck. Discounting Foo Fighters, who can't be counted being as they have Nirvana's drummer running the show, nobody good as come about as a result of Nirvana's work. Nickelback, Puddle of Mudd. Buckcherry, THESE are who Nirvana influenced and that's not a good thing. Thank you for making radio suck more Kurt Cobain.

5. Cobain was a "rock god" Damn this rock mythology crap. Sure it works for Hendrix and Allman and Morrison, guys who had talents of some sort. But Cobain had a psycho girlfriend and serious mental health issues. Not saying the above three didnt but at least they could play or sing. Cobain can do neither. Show me a solo or even a song he can play by David Gilmour, Eddie Hazel, Tom Verlaine, or hell even by a Greenwood. Nothing Nirvana recorded justified him being ranked higher than these men who were far more technically proficient and talented than him. And sure as hell nothing justified his work in any way shape or form being counted above, alongside, or even in the same sentence no same BOOK as the work of the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Marvin Gaye, the Rolling Stones, James Brown and every other truly deserving rock greats that their album was ranked ahead of. My apologies to Dave Grohl, who I believe is far more talented to Cobain and has a solid rock band in Foo Fighters. Do you know why they are solid? They admit and pay homage to their forebearers much as Pearl Jam does, to Zeppelin and the Who and the rest of the hard rock archetypes. They don't assume or blow up self images of themselves. They aren't considered life altering groups; they're just good. Just face it. Nirvana sucks